Happy Halloween: The Hours!

For Halloween I though I would write a musical comedy that should really scare everyone: The Hours! a Musical Adaption of the 1999 Pulitzer Prize winning book and the 2003 film that confirmed what many people believed Nicole Kidman was being held back by Tom Cruise.

YOU: Why is this the Halloween post?
ME: What's more frightening that AIDS and abandonment?
YOU: Good Point.

Sure RENT probably already exists as the AIDS musical, but I think The Hours! will help fit more depression and abandonment into two hours of enjoyment. Besides, The Hours! is just the first in a whole season of AIDS-themed musical comedies including: The Greg Louganis Story and adaptations of Angels in America (AIDS Angel) and Philadelphia (Philly!). We're hoping Mario Lopez will be interested in the whole season.

Tracklist:

• I Would Have Killed Myself If I Knew Nicole Kidman Would Win Awards For Wearing My Nose And Showing How Nuts I Was, Oh, Wait....I Did Kill Myself (Virginia)
• Flowers (Virginia, Laura and Clarissa)
• I Love Depressing and Pretentious Poems! (Clarissa)
• Cake Time (Laura)
• Mamma Can You Hear Me? (Young Richard and Dan)
• Adoration, Isolation, Depression, Suicide (Richard and Clarissa)
• Kitty's Tittys (Laura)
• Menage a Trois (Richard, Louis, and Clarissa)
• I Think I'm A Lesbo (Laura, Clarissa, Virginia)*
• Cake Time II (Laura)
• Reminder: People Win Awards For This Role (The TONY Award Hint Song) (Virginia and Ensemble)
• The F-U-N in Funeral (Clarissa, Sally, Julia, and Laura)

* Sung to the tune of "I Wanna Come Over" by Melissa Ethridge. Actually, the song is already written when you just replace "I wanna come over" with "I think I'm a Lesbo" in the refrain. See?

LAURA: I know you're home, you left your light on
You know I'm here, the night is thin
I know you're alone, I watched the car leave
Your lover is gone, let me in
Open your back door, I just need to touch you once more

I think I'm a lesbo
To hell with the consequence
You told me you love me
That's all I believe

CLARISSA: I think I'm a lesbo
It's a need I can't explain
To see you again
I think I'm a lesbo!

VIRGINIA: I know your friend, you told her about me
She filled you with fear, some kind of sin
How can you turn, denying the fire
Sister, I burn, let me in
Open your back door, I just need to touch you once more

VIRGINIA: I know you're confused
LAURA: I know that you're shaken
CLARISSA: You think we'll be lost once we begin

ALL: I know you're weak, I know that you want me
Lover, don't speak, let me in
I think I'm a lesbo
It's a need I can't explain
To see you again
I think I'm a lesbo!