With musicals about so many fantastical things, it's time to celebrate the mundane. Much in the way the impressionists wanted to document not the extraordinary and royal, but the normal life, I believe it is time for a musical that celebrates something most Americans have experienced on year or another: the mall on December 26th.
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The day after Christmas, shopping shifts from the frantic, yet caring hustle and bustle to a self-centered nightmare of returns. Who knew the birth of the savor could change the nature of the crowds in just one day off spent with family? While I did not actually leave my house today, there have been years where I have braved the mall, armed with gift receipts and sweaters I'll never wear (Note: the only return I have this year is a sweater whose sleeves are comically short...damn you long arms). I think the best way to get through this day if you happen to be working retail, is to buck up and think about this new American classic musical: December 26th!
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Tracklist:
This Line is Better than This Gift
Can't Believe They Thought I'd Like This (Teenager's Lament)
No Receipt, No Return
What the Fuck do I want with Store Credit?
2 Blenders
Because I'm Not 8 Anymore (Why I Don't Want the Mickey Mouse Mittens)
Pleated Pant Plie
Ungrateful Motherfuckers (sung by Santa)
Who Knows the Meaning of Kwanzaa/Boxing Day Anyhow?
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I'm thinking it's going to be a new holiday tradition, no?
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